Silliness Reigns Supreme
by Lyra Silvertongue2
Summary: I've been presented with a fanfic challenge: a crossover between X-Men: Evo and Harry Potter. How could I possibly refuse?! Want to see the Professor swear? Come here! Here's chapter five! Read and Review, please! ^_^
1. Enter If You Dare

All right, it has just recently occurred that my best friend Chrissy handed me a note challenging me to write a story. But not just any story. No, this one has _guidelines_. Note to all who don't know what these italics mean: run. Run as fast as you can.

Now, of _course_ I answered Chrissy's challenge with one of my own. _That _can be viewed under the penname "sixsignsthecircle," if you're interested. And trust me: you should be interested.

Before I start this fic, of course, I'm going to give you the guidelines that were enclosed in this lovely little note. The fic is to be as follows, and I quote from the note (hey, I rhymed):

"Crossover--Harry Potter (Marauders) & X-Men: Evolution.

- Chrissy-Sirius romance (but can be as ridiculous as you want)

-Moony wants Rogue

-Rogue wants Lily

-Xavier cannot get through a sentence without swearing

-You must be in it. You _can_ go out with Kurt, but if you do, Kitty has to go out with the Blob (LOL!)

-Dumbledore can go out with any of these: Xavier, Ororo, Hank

Have fun!"

For those of you who don't know, the Marauders are from the Marauder's Map. You know, from Harry Potter (like it says)? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, otherwise known as Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and James Potter. But in the fanfiction world, if you write Marauders, you write when these four were attending Hogwarts themselves--that's right, folks. They're _teenagers. _If you didn't run before, do so now.

And for those of you who haven't read Harry Potter, good luck figuring out who the hell everyone is. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing!

Reason for R-rating: You read the guidelines, didn't you? I thought so. Check out the language. Hee-hee-hee.

Extra Author's notes: This is meant to be a silly-fic, mostly, so I know that nearly everyone I write is going to be enormously out of character. Deal with it. Flame if you wish, but you _will_ be flamed back. Have a nice day. ^_^

Chapter One: Enter If You Dare

Everyone in the X-Mansion, yes, even Logan, had the same puzzling message broadcasted into their heads at 3:30 in the afternoon: _Everyone get down to the fucking lobby, we will have some new students arriving momentarily._ To the millisecond, each person in the X-Mansion looked up from what they were doing at the same time; Storm from her gardening, Kitty from her laptop, Scott from his daydream (guess who it was about), Jean from her homework (damn goody two-shoes), Evan from his skateboarding (he promptly ran into a light pole), Kurt from his acrobatics (listen closely: Wha-DOOSH!), Rogue from her horror novel, Hank from his microscope-peering, and Logan from his God-only-knows-what. [1] 

They were down at the lobby within minutes, most ravenously curious to know why the Professor would use such foul language. They looked him up and down as they entered: Professor as usual, nothing incredibly interesting about him, except for the perfectly-polished head that was obviously intended to give off a dazzling shine, but really just wound up blinding everyone who wasn't used to it. He nodded at each of them as they filed in, indicating that they should sit down.

"All right, you assholes," he started. "I've arranged for-"

"Hold on, Professor!" Scott jumped out of his seat, only to realize that everyone was looking at him strangely. He blushed, and continued, "I think we all want to know why, exactly, you're choosing to use such...um...questionable language. Yeah." He trailed off, looking a bit sheepish under everyone's eyes.

"The answer is quite bloody simple, Scott," the Professor said in his normal calm-as-all-hell voice. "I was getting damn tired of only having a vocabulary of nearly every word in the dictionary." All present boggled at him. "So I decided to include some colorful words in my speech, just to make it more interesting, and shit." He finished quite primly, looking at his students expectantly.

"Uh, well, okay, then," said Scott, sitting back down uncomfortably. "Um...what were you saying about new recruits?"

"I've arranged from some fucking English people to come over here and join us for the time being. They don't really have any damn mutant powers, but they're hella-close to having some. They practice fucking _magic_, or something of the kind, so I'm sure you'll welcome them quite jovially, hmm?" 

"How many are there, Professor?" Kurt was slightly stunned, but determined to carry on with the conversation as if it was normal.

"Three, and some sort of goddamn mentor or some shit like that," he rolled the unfamiliar phrase around his mouth. "He's the one I spoke to on the fucking phone. Dumble-fucking-dore."

{Ding-dong!} Xavier started whirring towards the exit to answer the door, but Jean stopped him by crying: "Professor, are you sure you should speak to them like that?!"

"Why the hell shouldn't I?"

She quailed under his gaze. "Um, well, won't they think it's a bit hostile?"

"Well, fuck, I suppose they will, but I'm sure they'll understand if I just explain it to them." He turned his chair again and whirred right out into the entry hall. Logan bolted ahead and opened the gigantic wooden doors for him, and all the students, who had been caught in the door (they all tried to leave at once, the fools) toppled to the floor only to look up and see the Professor smiling at...

***

End of chapter!

[1] Congrats, folks, you finished my first paragraph, and you're going to live! Yeesh, what a run-on sentence...

Well, I must say, that turned out to be an interesting first chapter. I hope you'll forgive me if it's a bit short, and, well, not as funny as I'd hoped, since I have a splitting headache tonight. I'm going to be updating this story once a day, just to let you know. I made a deal with the Devil (Chrissy, lol), and I'm not about to let it slide.

Review if you have something to say. Thoughts, ideas, random comments? Constructive criticism? Odd allusions to goose proverbs? Split pea soup you made for me when you heard of my headache? All this and more, I hope, you will leave on the doorstep with your name, telephone number, and address, because this prize can be yours, folks! A fabulous trip through the insane cold-infested mind of....Lyra Silvertongue! 

Heh.


	2. Here Are the Crossovers!

Disclaimer: Okay, if you want me to, I can ipretend/i I own something.   
But I wouldn't really. I'd just be pretending for your benefit.  
  
Author's notes: I love you reviewers! You're awesome, okay? Thank you all   
for reading and actually isaying/i something. Much love to y'all.  
  
And to "me": I'm glad you pointed that out. Yes, the only person entirely   
out of character is the Professor, and with good reason. You see, if I were   
to make ieveryone/i out of character, readers would have one devil of a   
time keeping everyone straight. I mean, people have enough trouble keeping   
the ioriginal/i characters straight, and I'm iadding/i characters in   
this fic. So I'm just going to enhance everyone's personalities a little,   
with a few exceptions. See if you can spot them! Hee-hee-hee...  
  
To Chrissy: This is for you, babe.  
  
  
  
Chapter Two: Here are the Crossovers!  
  
p...a troupe of four people on the doorstep. There was an old man with a   
long, white beard, two teenage boys, one with brown hair, one with black   
hair, and a teenage girl, who looked pleasant to be around. They were all   
dressed rather conspicuously in what seemed to be...well...dresses, for lack   
of a better word, and were looking expectantly at the Professor, who tilted   
his head slightly and said, "Welcome to the Xavier Institute for Gifted   
Youngsters, ass-"  
  
pJust then Scott clamped a hand over his mouth, having just detangled   
himself from the crowd near the doorway and bolted all the way across the   
wide lobby. Turning to the group outside, he took a moment to catch his   
breath, then explained the Professor's "experiment" hastily, finishing up   
with a "so you'll have to pardon anything that he says that seems offensive"   
and a sheepish look. After which he removed his hand from the Professor's   
mouth, looking apologetic.  
  
p"Won't you come into our fucking abode?" Looking slightly puzzled at his   
wording, but relieved to be admitted, the group stepped inside. Before   
Wolverine could close the door behind them, however, or offer to take their   
baggage inside, the old man turned around and waved a istick/i around in   
the air. Four large trunks lifted themselves off the ground and floated into   
the cavernous room. Shaking his head in bewilderment, Logan pushed the giant   
wooden door closed.  
  
p"Thank you, Professor Xavier," the old man (the one who had hair) nodded   
at the other old man (the one with no hair), and extended his hand to be   
shaken. "I'm Albus Dumbledore, and these are my students James Potter," he   
gestured to the black-haired boy, who waved brightly, "Remus Lupin," he   
gestured to the boy with brown hair now, and this one nodded with a slight   
smile, "and Lily." Lily waved with a broad grin. [1]  
  
p"It is very damn nice to meet you," said the Professor. "Now perhaps our   
students can go to the common room and introduce themselves and shit."  
  
pThe X-Men, who had by now picked themselves up off the floor and dusted   
themselves off, smiled at the newbies invitingly. They had all soon trooped   
off to the common room. Wolverine followed them, looking tough.  
  
pOnce they were alone, Xavier smiled warmly at Dumbledore, who leaned over   
to speak into Xavier's ear once the last noise had died down from the   
direction of the students. "It might suit you," he whispered, "to speak as   
one who normally uses that language to speak." He laughed right by the   
Professor's ear, then straightened up, holding his back at an ache. "Now,"   
he said in a normal voice. "Where am I to sleep?"  
  
***  
  
pOnce the common room had been filled with people, the questions had   
begun.  
  
p"How did he ido/i that thing with all the floating suitcases? Is he   
telekinetic?"  
  
p"Why are you wearing dresses?"  
  
p"What are your powers?"  
  
p"Do those dresses chafe?"  
  
p"What kind of a name is 'Remus,' anyway?"  
  
p"What are your powers?"  
  
p"Wanna see my powers?"  
  
p"Are you from England?"  
  
pJames finally managed to get a word in. "Yes. And you're from Germany,   
right?"  
  
pThe X-Men finally quieted down to let Kurt speak. His hologram was   
blushing (although the newbies didn't know it was a hologram yet). "Ja, I am   
from Germany." He smiled big. "Want to see what I really look like?" All the   
British people in the room shrugged and smiled, so Kurt pressed a button on   
his watch. There was a pause.  
  
p"Erm...do all Germans look like that?"   
  
***  
  
[1] What is her maiden name, anyway?  
  
  
I will love you forever if you review. ^_^ 


	3. Enter every other damn recruit that's go...

Disclaimer: I'm borrowing your show. So sue me. ...No, wait. Don't.  
  
I'm sorry it took so long, guys! I've just been busy, and the restrictions from the computer, and the shrieking and the biting and the "maybe you should *talk* to some people"! I'm sorry, really I am. But, listen, here's a sorta-long chapter for you, and I *know* it's not formatted like it was before, but it's the best I can do, okay? So just...read...and laugh...and be merry, and stuff like that. ::hopeful smile::  
  
P.S. I make my appearance in this chapter. So does Chrissy. ^_^  
  
***  
  
Chapter Three: Enter every other damn recruit that's gonna come in and screw with X-Men: Evolution  
  
***  
  
"So it really turns out that we have a lot in common," concluded Dumbledore, turning from the piece of equipment he had been examining.  
  
"Hmm?[1] Oh, I'm sorry I was too busy staring at your ass to really pay attention--could you please repeat that?"  
  
Had Dumbledore been a younger man, he would have blushed [2], but in this case he just let one of his eyes twinkle. He knew Xavier caught it-- the other old man was on the alert, since he couldn't read Dumbledore telepathically. "I've been talking for a full half-hour," he said, amused. "You haven't caught a word of it?" He paused only to wave at him dismissively. "No, nevermind, it was all nonsense anyway. You'll find that nonsense is most of what I say. Hey, I rhymed!"  
  
Xavier, unable to think of a way to fit a swear into a sentence (under the circumstances...*Ahem*), cocked an eyebrow and smiled lightly.  
  
"Moving on, then..." Dumbledore said, but not awkwardly. The wizard was only on *very* rare occasions awkward. "Since I have brought three children to your institute," Professor X nodded at this with a sly smile, "I have sent three children to the...erm...what was it called? Oh, yes, Brotherhood!" Xavier started. "I figured that if I was bringing some to this ritzy-" he winked at the man, who, unfortunately for him, was in no mood now to acknowledge this "-place, why not send some students to the other end of the spectrum, eh? It would only be fair."  
  
"The damn Brotherhood is getting new members?" Xavier was so startled he could only manage a mild semi-swear.  
  
"Why, yes. Is that a bad thing?"  
  
He paused reflectively, then stated his opinion on the entire situation in a way he felt expressed precisely what this would mean to himself, the other adults dwelling in the same residence, and the adolescents he had taken in. "Fuck."  
  
***  
  
"We are *not* *lost*!" Snape insisted, his (rather large) nose buried in the mounds of paper which had originally been a neatly-folded map.  
  
"Of course we're not," Sirius backed calmly, looking nonchalant, with his arms folded across his chest, standing across the narrow dirt road.  
  
"We're not," he repeated, almost to himself. His hair was making grease-trails across the thin paper. In a sudden movement, he pointed a finger at a spot near the center of his vision. It was a marvel he didn't puncture the map. "We're here!"  
  
"Brilliant observation," said Sirius, just as coolly as before.  
  
Peter, who was standing awkwardly beside his taller friend, sniggered at Snape [3]. "He's got no idea where we are," he pointed out unneccessarily to Sirius in an overly loud whisper.  
  
Snape was too absorbed in the puzzle of which way was north from here to pay attention to them. Finally, something clicked in his brain. Sweeping his hair (which, by the way, looked like it had been washed in lard) out of his eyes, he pointed dramatically past his two companions. "That way!" he cried, with a flourish of the sleeve of his robes.  
  
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Sure," he followed Snape in whatever-the- hell-direction-he-was-going, and Peter came behind him, giggling.  
  
***  
  
"*Five* new recruits?!" Freddy was stunned, and, as far as he was concerned, it took a lot to stun the Blob. Mystique paced in front of the sloppy line of four mutants.  
  
"Yes, Blob, five. Do I have to repeat myself once again?" Freddy didn't sense the anger in her voice, so he just shrugged and shook his head. Lance and Todd snickered at him. "Although technically three of them are not actually mutants, I have concluded that this team needs *all* the help it can get-"  
  
"You can say that again," muttered Todd under his breath. Lance and Pietro, standing on either side of him, laughed as quietly as they could.  
  
"-so we're letting all of them in. Now, the first two recruits should be arriving any minute. They're both female," here she shot the boys a glare, "so I expect you to be civil. Is that clear?!"  
  
"Yes, ma'am!" They answered in unison, except for Fred, who was just a split-second behind. From outside there came the sound of a car pulling up in front of the building, but that was where things got a little wonky.  
  
"Here taxi-cab-driver-person-thingiemabob!" The exclamation was muffled, but it was loud enough to be heard through the walls. Then came the sound of squealing tires, and two women voices (obviously cursing) were drowned out in the shrill sound. Then there was a "Fine, keep the change, y'asshole," from a slightly different-sounding voice than the previous one, and much giggling could be heard.  
  
Scrape, thump, scrape, thump, scrape, thump. "Why the hell'd you pack all that stuff, anyway?" the Brotherhood heard through the door. The voices were getting closer now.  
  
"That's the third time you've asked me that! I'm not rich, like you! I can't just not pack anything! Besides-"  
  
"I'm not rich! Shut up!" the words were said playfully. The boys were a bit confused after all of this, but stood to attention once again when there came a knock on the door. Mystique was there in an instant, and the door was pulled open to reveal...well...not what anyone had expected, except possibly Mystique.  
  
They were both about sixteen, from the looks of it, and the height difference was...vast. The taller girl had long, wavy brown hair, with streaks in it ("They're natural! Really, they are!"[4]), and wore sparkly maroon pants with a pink shirt, under a dark denim jacket. She looked into the dim boardinghouse with raised eyes, and a "hey, what's all this?" expression. The shorter (much, *much* shorter) girl wore shoulder-length dirty blonde [5] hair (slightly curly at the ends), and, apparently, whatever she had grabbed out of her dresser in the dark. There was a bright, hopeful smile on her face, and she had one hand on the handle of a positively *gigantic* duffel bag.[6] As the guys watched, the shorter girl shifted her attention back to her bag, and focused on backing it into the Boardinghouse. "Hello," she panted at Mystique, waving a hand distractedly.  
  
"Hi, I'm Chrissy!" The taller girl smiled and waved excitedly at the assembled Brotherhood, and stepped inside quickly to let Mystique close the door on the bright light. She waved a hand at her shorter friend, who was busily arranging her duffel to be more accessible, "And that's Sarah!"  
  
"Yo!" Sarah held a hand up by her shoulder, short of breath and occupied.  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, girls," Mystique said sweetly, obviously putting up a front (obvious even to the newbies). At this point Sarah straightened and turned around from her work to look up at the person speaking. "We want to make you feel welcome here. These are our senior members," she gestured at the assembled boys, then went about introducing them. "Fred, also called The Blob," here Freddy waved a hand slowly, "Lance, or Avalanche," Lance gave them a look (think "Whoa, you chicks are weird, so I'm never coming near you," and you're golden), "Todd--or Toad, for obvious reasons," Todd smiled, exposing his yellow teeth. Chrissy and Sarah smiled back, friendly. "And this is Pietro."  
  
Here is where something rather peculiar happened.  
  
Pietro, who had at this point been *seriously* noticing Sarah's curves [7], locked eyes with said girl, and, suddenly, could not let go of that contact.  
  
To all those outside this little private connection, there were then two people in the room looking dreamy and distant. Many tactics to get them to look away from each other were soon tried, but to no avail. Neither of them seemed to be responsive to outside stimuli, and what was worse, Sarah had left her bag to be carried upstairs by someone else! Luckily for Lance, however (of *course* Blob was too lazy to carry it upstairs, he was *only* the strongest person in the *house*), at that very moment there was another knock at the door. Mystique darted to open it again.  
  
***  
  
End Chapter! Ain't I a stinker?  
  
[1] Interjections don't count as sentences! Dammit! ^_^  
  
[2] If you can't see where I'm going with this, go back to the first chapter, read my guidelines, and laugh.  
  
[3] Whee! Alliteration! Say *that* one three times fast!  
  
[4] Really. I'm not kidding. They are.  
  
[5] Dirty blonde is a *shade,* oh horrible people who don't know that! Don't even think about thinking (wait, did I just say that?) about my not washing my hair!  
  
[6] This duffel bag is bigger than *me,* I *swear.*  
  
[7] Yeah, I'm curvy. So what? ^_^ ...what?! I'm not allowed to brag a little bit?!  
  
All right, folks, I'm ending this chapter right here and now, 'cause I'm in no condition to write at this point. This chapter is too silly. Silliness. Dur...wait, isn't that in the title? Okay, I *swear,* I'm going to try and update *every* *day,* from now on. Really.  
  
Review, please! 


	4. Whee! Tangled relationships, etc!

Disclaimer: Don't even talk to me about owning anything, I'm broke as can be.  
  
Okay, folks, Chapter Two will be fixed as soon as I can get around to fixing it. Again, I'm sorry this took so long, but I'm going to keep on trying to update as often as possible.  
To Vampyre: Sorry, but as I said in a previous chapter note, I'm mildly emphasizing each character's personality as best I can. As much as I like Snape (and I ido/i, Alan Rickman is one of my favorite actors, and Snape is one of my favorite characters), he's going to be screwed up as much as my other characters are. ^_^ Whee!  
***  
  
  
pMystique opened the door, and light flooded into the Brotherhood Boardinghouse once again. It was a bizarre effect. All  
within were standing still as statues, with the one exception of Chrissy, who turned her head as the door swung open, letting her hair swing saucily over her shoulder. Then, all those who were looking at the silhouettes in the door squinted into the light, trying to see who these people were...  
  
p"Please, come in," Mystique's false exterior said pleasantly. They stepped in quickly, and Mystique shut the door, moving  
to stand in front of it, hands clasped behind her over the doorknob. Her smile looked ghoulish in the low light.  
  
pThroughout all this Pietro and Sarah gazed into each other's eyes.  
  
p"Whoa," Chrissy said under her breath, her eyes bugging out when she spotted Sirius. Sirius, for his part, just looked back at her with a devilish grin on his face.  
  
pMeanwhile, Snape surveyed his surroundings with a nasty scowl, a wad of paper clasped tightly in his fist. Peter, standing between the two archrivals, just...well, he just looked rat-like. "Nice to meet you," Snape finally sneered at the assembled. "My name is Severus. Severus Snape." At this there was a general bout of hushed laughter from the Brotherhood (sans Pietro, who was iway/i too busy staring into Sarah's eyes).  
  
p"Hi, iSeverus/i," said Lance, barely containing his laughter.  
  
pSnape narrowed his eyes. "Hello."  
  
p"I'm Peter Pettigrew," Peter interjected obliviously, waving a slightly clammy hand. Lance and Todd waved back, still chuckling at Snape's expression.  
  
pChrissy was still staring at Sirius, only half listening to the introductions. Her eyes shot to his mouth as he spoke smoothly: "I'm Sirius Black." She blushed, and he grinned.  
  
p"Yes, yes, yes," spat Snape impatiently, folding his arms and once again glaring at the grubby front hall, "but where are we to isleep/i?"  
  
pThe Brotherhood stopped snickering at the funny names. "That's not cool, yo," murmured Todd to his companions. "Doesn't even want to know our names."  
  
pHaving seen Sirius (ooh, what a name) change his expression to one of distaste at Snape's voice, Chrissy at once turned to the cause of the gorgeous one's (yeah, that's a good way to put it) upset, taking in his greasy appearance. "I don't like you," her face knotted in the same expression of distaste that Sirius wore. "So you deserve this."   
  
pSnape was about to ask "Deserve what?" when he caught Chrissy's onslaught full in the face. Chrissy's power is like this, you see: she makes spitballs. Giant ones. Like Toad-slime to the power of fifteen, only quite a bit more disgusting. It was an ugly power to have, but genetics are a bitch. It was the power Chrissy was stuck with, and at this point she was rather glad to have it.   
  
pSlamming into the wall was not what was bothering Snape most. Neither was the fact that he was now pinned to it. No, what was pinning him there was what was on his mind, and he was sure it wasn't to get ioff/i his mind for quite awhile. I won't go into detail about what held him to the plaster approximately five feet from an imprint of Toad, but I will give you a few adjectives to think about: sticky, warm, wet, gloppy. Satisfied? One can only hope that it won't give you nightmares.  
  
p"I like you," Sirius told Chrissy, moving to be by her side. Chrissy grinned, and revealed her name to him. He smiled back at her, slipping an arm around her shoulders. Blushing abounded.  
  
p"So..." Peter coughed, embarassed. "What are your names?"  
  
pNames flew around the room, and then all was silent again. There was a moment of awkwardness for everyone not (1)staring into anyone's eyes, (2)pasted to the wall and muffled by spitwads, and (3)busy flirting. "Well then," Mystique said, clapping her hands together. "Let me show you to your rooms."  
  
pThe stairs creaked and groaned under the weight of everyone except Snape, Chrissy, Sirius, Sarah and Pietro. "So," said Sirius, squeezing Chrissy a little closer to himself, "is there anyone we can go to be alone?"  
  
p"I don't know. I'm just as new as you. But I'm sure as hell going to find out." The pair headed off through a random door, leaving the three remaining alone in the room. After a few minutes, Peter sneaked down the stairs in a frightened way, setting off much protest from the moldy wood. Sarah and Pietro didn't seem to notice, but Snape raised his eyes frantically at the rodent-like boy.  
  
p"I saw our rooms," Peter said, nervous smile on his face. "They're okay. Only..."  
  
p"Only iwhat/i?" hissed Snape, now wiping his mouth of goop, having been peeled off the wall by Peter.  
  
p"Only...we're going to have to share with people."  
  
p"What?!" he cried in outrage. "Well, out with it! Who am I to share with?!"  
  
p"Erm...I'm sharing with Todd...so you're going to have to share with Lance."  
  
p"Which one was he?" Snape asked, pretending not to be embarassed at not knowing such a thing. Peter told him which one it was. "Shit." This was not an uncommon reaction to such news, with Snape. Peter had suspicions that he would have said that at any of the choices. "Well, let's go upstairs. Maybe there's at least a decent shower here."   
  
pPietro and Sarah were left alone for awhile, and all was quiet in the downstairs hallway, except for a few slight disturbances. Snape's shriek at the lack of hot water was one. A second was an incredible crash from the living room, which had come from a lamp hitting the floor as a result of a particularly ferocious kiss Sirius had attacked Chrissy with. The only other disturbance was of Lance jumping around, yelling, and just generally acting like a fool to try and get Pietro and Sarah to move, while on his way out to his Jeep to cruise for babes.[1] Otherwise, there was no noise.  
  
  
***  
  
pRogue was having a hard time keeping her eyes off of Lily. She didn't know exactly why she had volunteered to give the new girl a tour of the mansion herself, but what she was having a harder time figuring out was why that Remus guy had tagged along as well. "And this is the Danger Room, where we do our training," Rogue gestured.  
  
pLily had noticed the excess staring, and smiled at her while they walked. "You're probably wondering what we can do to be here, right?"  
  
pRogue pounced on the excuse in an instant. "Yeah, yeah, that's it exactly," she said awkwardly, blushing under Lily's gaze. Her eyes darted nervously to the side, and she caught a nervous grin from her other companion. She scowled lightly in his direction.  
  
p"I'll demonstrate!" Remus said eagerly, pulling out his wand. He said a few words (which sounded like nonsense to Rogue) and a flower appeared in his hand, where he had been pointing his wand. "For you," he smiled, trying to be debonair. Looking him up and down, Rogue thought, iNot bad for a guy who wears dresses--but Lily.../i Her eyes went back to the girl, who smiled, so Rogue turned back and snatched the flower out of Remus's hand. "Thanks," she said tersely before turning to walk into an elevator. She pressed a button. "And now I'll show you sub-basement three..."  
  
***  
  
p"Can we stop kissing for a moment so you can tell me about yourself?" Sirius gasped out. They had migrated during their make-out session, and were now outside the house. Chrissy had Sirius pinned against the crumbling wall.  
  
p"Hmm...let me think...no!" She kissed him again, but he broke away to stare her in the eye.  
  
p"Please?" he asked her carefully. She sighed.  
  
p"iFine./i" She spun and slid down the wall to sit on the ground. Sirius followed her. "What do you want to know?"  
  
p"I don't know. Where are you from? What are your hobbies? Are you scared of things that go 'bump' in the night?" he listed, waggling his eyebrows at her.  
  
pShe grinned. "I'm from Outer Space, I enjoy reading, writing, and making out with hot British guys, and things that go 'bump' in the night had better be me, as far as I'm concerned."[2] She grinned even more widely, and Sirius laughed. "Now can we make out?"  
  
p"No!" he said, faking exasperation. "Now you're supposed to say, 'What about you, Sirius?'."  
  
p"What about you, Sirius?" she mimicked his accent.  
  
p"No, no, no, now that won't do," he told her, mock-serious. "You have to draw out the 'ou' in 'about,' silly. If you're going to make fun of me, at least do it properly.[3]" In response, she grinned, and tackled him again.  
  
***  
  
pAt exactly thirteen minutes after midnight, Freddy shuffled down the upstairs hall in the dark. The moon shone softly through the window as he made his best attempt to tiptoe down the stairs (notorious, now, for their noisiness). He managed to make it down with only a few squeaks, then padded, in his socks, past the still forms of Pietro and Sarah in the front room. The refrigerator light made shadows extend from the wall clock and calender as Fred loaded his arms up with whatever leftovers were available.  
  
pAnd then it happened. Todd was the one to blame for the mayonaise in the middle of the floor, but if you thought about it, it was partially Freddy's fault for not watching where he was going.  
  
pWHUMP!  
  
pIt shook the walls, and, more importantly, the floor, when he fell. The leftovers, which joined Fred shortly on the kitchen floor, made little noise compared to that which had just occurred.  
  
pAnd it was that shaking of the floor which caused Pietro to tip forwards in the hall, and blink a few times after he hit, finally recovering from his stupor.  
  
p"Oh my God, are you okay?" Sarah had also recovered, and rushed to his side to offer him a hand up. He accepted it gratefully, pulling himself off the floor effectively, but nearly sending Sarah to the surface in the process.  
  
p"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," he said, not really thinking about the condition of his body at all.  
  
p"You're...Peetro?" Sarah said after a moment of thought. She had been too absorbed in his eyes when his name had been said to really understand the word.  
  
p"Pietro," he corrected. "And you're Sarah."  
  
p"Yeah." At long last, she blushed, scuffing her foot and looking to the spot on the floor he had most recently occupied.  
  
pIn the kitchen, Freddy, hauling himself off the floor, muttered to himself, "Well, don't everybody rush to help at once."  
  
p"Well..." Pietro blushed, too. Where the ihell/i was that casanova who charmed all the girls at school?  
  
p"Yeah," she repeated.  
  
p"Come on," he said finally. "I'll take you someplace nice."  
  
p"Well, honestly," she stated, smiling at the room they were standing in. "What could be nicer than this?"  
  
***  
  
[1] I'm making Lance a jerk, here. Deal.  
  
[2] Chrissy is not really like this. She doesn't devote her life to being horny. Just thought you ought to know, before I go further into making her sound horrible. ^_^  
  
[3] Monsters, Inc., I'll admit it. Heh-heh.  
  
  
Gah! Curse my stupid, romantic self! I'm sorry for making that last bit not-so-funny. You can yell at all those movies I've been watching, lately, if you want. Stupid romantic comedies, not as funny as my fic normally is...  
  
Review and I will send you a cookie. :D 


	5. Awwwwhow cute

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I can pretend I own everything.

***

"Come on, doggie! Come on! Fetch!" James, having wandered off on his own, was in the front yard, and had found a dog to play with. He had picked up a stick that was nearby, and was now trying, unsuccessfully, to play a game of fetch. "Come on. Why won't you fetch the stick?"

"'Cause I'm nae a dog, ye daftie," said Rahne, morphing to human. She looked pretty fed up, crossing her arms and standing with her legs slightly apart.

James was instantly sheepish, and scratched the back of his neck, looking at the ground. "Oh. Well, uh..."

Shaking her head, mildly amused, Rahne said, "Ah, that's okay. How were you te know, anyway?" James looked up at her with apologetic eyes. "Hey, want me to show ye the grounds?"

"Yeah, that'd be great!" He brightened instantly. "Maybe me and Remus can make a marauders map for this place!"

"Marauders map?"

"Yeah, see, it's like..." James launched into an explanation, and Rahne got more and more excited about the idea as he went on.

"That'd be really cool! I know my way around this place well enough. Want me to show ye all the secret passages?"

"There are secret passages here?" Rahne nodded, eyebrows raised. "Neat! Come on, let's go already!"

The two of them bounced off, eager to make mischief.

***

From an upstairs window, Xavier watched the whole exchange, Dumbledore by his side. The pair had paused in their tour of the grounds to watch the events on the front grounds. Evan and Kurt were playing frisbee not far away from James and Rahne, and as soon as they saw them leave the front yard they followed stealthily after them. Xavier smiled.

"Ah. Fucking childhood," he said nostalgically.

"Yes, I remember those days. Fresh to magic, learning new things to start trouble every day. To be young again."

"Yes, youth is wasted on the young, those assholes."

"I should show you those pictures I have of me when I was younger. I wasn't always a hunched-over, wrinkly old man, you know."

"Hmm."

"What did you look like when you were young?"

"I always fucking looked like this." Xavier turned his wheelchair and carried on with the tour.

***

"Wow," Sarah marveled at the plush restaurant. "How can you afford to take _me_ to a place like _this_?"

"Why, do you eat a lot?"

"No, it's just--well, you can't be that serious about me, right? We just met. So I figure you _must_ be rich." She turned to look him in the eye. "Did I guess right?"

"I don't have to afford it," he smiled a debonair smile. "I am the best dine-and-dasher in town."

She grinned, but then they had to stop talking for a moment as they were shown to their seats. Pietro pulled a chair out for her, and she smiled even wider, sitting down and reaching for her water glass. After taking a sip, she continued the conversation. "So what's your power, anyway?"

A slight breeze crossed Sarah's face, and suddenly there was a rose being held across the table. "For you," Pietro offered.

"Whoa. Uh--thank you." She took the rose from him, and broke off most of the stem, tucking it behind her ear. She was still marveling at how fast Pietro really was.

Pietro was still marveling at how _cool_ this chick was. She was the first to really catch his attention since...well, since _ever_. "What's your power?"

"My power? It's the-" Their talk was interrupted once again by the arrival of the waiter. They took a few minutes to place their orders (Pietro sent for the most expensive thing on the menu, much to Sarah's amusement), and then Sarah was able to continue. "My power is the ultimate irony. Well, maybe not the ultimate..." she corrected herself.

"Why, what can you do?"

"Well, see, I'd demonstrate like you did, but I don't think you'd really want a citrus fruit right now."

Pietro was incredibly confused. Then, since he just really wanted to see what she could do, he said, "I could squeeze some lemon juice into my water."

"Okay, then." She placed her palm a few inches away from the table, and suddenly there was a lemon beneath her hand. She picked it up and handed it across the table to him. "There you go. I get energy for this power of mine, which is really weird, if I do say so myself, by ingesting all kinds of citrus, you know?

"Cool. So what's the irony?"

"The irony is that I can't stand orange juice."

***

There is a chapter. Sorry it took so long. I don't have an excuse this time, other than I couldn't think of anything to write. There will be more coming more frequently now, I promise. Review!


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